F.E.A.R. -racing with cobwebs

Time does indeed fly. It’s the 15th of October 2016 since I last put that Motherwell vest on and raced.

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Actually ran well that day, but not even a parkrun done since. To be fair I had been training for southside 6 and got injured and the various things that have happened since but over 3 months, how did that happen? I’m half a stone heavier. I wouldn’t say I am unfit as I have been training hard recently but I have only just started the speed stuff, there ain’t much there. My legs are heavy from the early stages of marathon training, but I expected that. So I have the SVHC relays on Sunday. 4 flat miles.As much as I can’t wait to get back out there again I severely have the fear. I am scared. So why?

  1. It’s a marker isn’t it. You have no idea what your body is capable of until you toe that line. You may surprise yourself. Depends if it’s a happy or a sad one 🙂 Obviously you fear the worst.
  2. It’s a relay. The 3 other guys in my team are fast. Our A team is that strong (I’m in the B) that the B teams first runner was 8th fastest in the first leg last year. This means that since I am on leg 2 then I will be going away with fast runners, with many, many fast runners chasing me off straight away.
  3. My family have the flu. My throat is already burning. If it stays there, then good, if it gets worse, then ouch.
  4. Because I am a natural scaredy cat. I’m irritating. Scotland knows it.
  5. I did it last year in similar circumstances and toiled. IMG_0151
  6. I’m rustier than Metal Mickey sitting in someone’s garage in Walthamstow.

But if this is what it does to me why do I do it? Easy.

  1. Man, I have missed the buzz of being on that start line to see what you can achieve.
  2. I missed the adrenaline kick, the thrill of hitting your stride.
  3. The camaraderie. A lot of cracking people out there from mine and other clubs that I look forward to catching up with.
  4. It’s better than sitting on my arse doing nothing.
  5. Challenging myself, knowing there will be times when I fail bad, times when I run ok, and those times when everything goes right, the stars align and every bad run you have ever had becomes worth it.
  6. I need to run off the packet of Revels I have just demolished.

Yep. Sunday is about that. It’s the first toe on the line. It’s the first time this year I can try to be what I can be. And no matter how well or how bad it goes I will know it will get better. I will not get back my good days without a few bad days. So let’s look out the safety pins, try and remember where my MAC vest is, break in the new Adios and get that cream on my nipples. It’s 2017 and I have a lot of new running plans and aims. Just pretend none of you see me on Sunday, and don’t check the results. Later blogpeeps.

 

 

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